I can't stop saying goodbye

Here is a letter I wish to send to my Uncle regarding the memorial for my father this July 29th. I won't send it in its entirety, as that would further escalate a bad situation. 

I am anguished about how things have turned out. I deal with drama instead of mourning the loss of my father. And it has made me exhausted. 

I am not after anything except respect and I know I will not get it. We, his children, don't matter..... that is the feeling that I am left with, regardless of what others say. These are my feelings and you can't change them. 

On to the letter, Sorry for the vague post. Email me if you have questions. 

"I am glad that my father's and grandparents' ashes will have a final resting place.

I will not be able to attend the memorial on July 29th. As always, I will be thinking of my father and sending him my love.

I am not financially able to purchase the Harbor Beach property. 

Our lives have been punctuated by the mundane terms and conditions of verbal agreements. We have been reduced to detachment and legalese. Where do I put my pain; the reminder of what is lost. It's not here in the dirt, it's within me. And I can not share it.

Take stock of all that you have lost. Not just a friend but an ally. Connections severely broken, over what?  Possessions, entitlement and pride. Such a sad waste of energy. I will not remember him within this acerbic atmosphere." 

The last two paragraphs were not in my final email.